As time ticks by, I get a stronger feeling that yes, I WILL be a stay at home mom next school year. Probably won't be as bad as before, since both boys will be in school...
But the depressing part is not the lack of money, or having to stay home. The part that is bringing me WAY down is that this is supposed to be my career. All I have ever done centered around kids and teaching. So... now what do I do?

I used to really want to stay at my current school. The teachers there are wonderful! But as some of them retire, and now the kick-Ass principal is retiring...well...I just wonder if the climate there will remain the same. I know it will change, but how?

I also worry about the education of my own kids. I love them, but I think they learn much more than reading and writing when they go to school. Like social learning that can only be done in group settings. If I just up and home school my kids, they will miss that component as there are few kids in the neighborhood, and the cousins are all too far away. That, and I'll go insane. I don't "stay home" very well. I need to be doing something...using the big blob of grey goop between my ears or it'll ooze out. No, seriously! I can't handle NOT having a billion+1 things to do. Feels weird.

Private schools are NOT an option for us, just flat out can't afford it.

So what to do?

ugh.

I've decided that being an adult is no fun. No fun at all.
I'm going to go jump rope now...